RJ encounters wotmaniacs in chatroom
by CleanToe


Disclaimer: None of the following characters actually represent anyone in particular. It's more of a general satire.

CAST

wotmaniacs

iluvmatsballz
mkurWheelOTime
failerulz
icanhascall4ndor?

Robert Jordaners

Robert Jordan

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mkurWheelOTime: yo what's up failerulz? did u see my latest theory on the relationship between Rand merging with Moridin, parallel universes and feckless cats?

failerulz: O hy jhn!!!! hw s th kd? | hrd |_| nmd hm Rbrt 'ftr RJ!!!

mkurWheelOTime: uh...yeah...RJ is my hero! but why are you typing without vowels today?

failerulz: ll c'z t's hw | rlly spyk n rhyl lyf!!

mkurWheelOTime: oh. that's odd, i never noticed before.

failerulz: dmb'ss!

iluvmatsballz has logged in

iluvmatsballz: John. I love your new theory on how Tuon is really Hatshepsut! BRILLIANT!! lolbbq! And congratulations on the new kid. Named him after RJ, eh?

mkurWheelOTime: Robert Jordan is my life! i luv wot soo much i even irrationally hate ASOIAF!!

failerulz: () y'? | l'v w()t s' m'ch | rlly lyke f'l!!!!!!!!!!!

iluvmatsballz: Uh...what did she just say?

mkurWheelOTime: she said "oh yeah? i love wot so much i really like faile"

iluvmatsballz: Wow, that's really saying something!! Could it be because she's a strong woman character who is so completely unrealistic when it comes to real life that women and men-who-always-masturbate idealize her?

mkurWheelOTime: yeah pretty much. i really lub wot, but have sense enough to hate faile!

failerulz: stf !

icanhascall4ndor? has logged in

Robert J has logged in

icanhascall4ndor?: loohk hoo i brot!!

Robert J: Hi guys.

iluvmatsballz: omg!! hey!

failerulz: mfg t's RJ!!!!!

mkurWheelOTime: Hey hey it's the main man! i'm glad ur here! i actually wanted to ask you what you thought of my theories? any comments?

Robert J: Well, now that I'm done with the series, I guess I can answer some of your questions. First off...

mkurWheelOTime cuts in

mkurWheelOTime: how did LTT know that no one was around dragonmount even though there was no dragonmount at the time? is it true healers can detect people they heal? i want to have your babies. what about baalzamon in the first book saying they fought over and over again?

icanhascall4ndor?: ye git him omglolwtflmaorawrroflbbq

Robert J: whoa whoa whoa! One question at a time. First of all, everything you mentioned is a PLOTHOLE. You are overanalyz....

mkurWheelOTime: What about Taimendred? Logainendred? Liandrendred? Elaidendred? Randendred?

Robert J: Randendred? How could you eve...

mkurWheelOTime is at this point frothing at the mouth, although since it's just a chatroom, no one can tell (but everyone still knows nonetheless)

mkurWheelOTime: Is Rand Jesus? Is Rand Tyr? Is Rand Thor? Is Rand Rah? Is Rand Wayne Brady?

Robert J: I think you're still overanalyzi...

mkurWheelOTime: Is it true that the oath rod shortens your lifespan and also causes infertility? Is Olver really gay? Is Suroth really Anath who is really Tuon who actually was Semirhage disguised as Anath even though she probably was Suroth and Tuon too?

Robert J: I didn't understa...

mkurWheelOTime starts going nuts, and the wife he never had--but even if he did have--leaves him

canihascall4ndor?: hez gohin 2 xplohd!

Robert J has logged off

canihascall4ndor? has logged off

iluvmatsballz has logged off

failerulz has logged off

*mkurWheelOTime explodes!*

THE END