The Dark One's rude awakening
by Paetram
[As light spills through the Bore, the Dark One awakens groggily]
Dark One: Oh, my head. That's the last time I go to one of Beelzebub's parties on a work night. Must have downed six hundred or so bottles of that stuff. What's he call it? Jack Daniel's? [looking through the Bore] Hmmm, this doesn't look very promising. You there, evil minion, which Age is this?
Darkfriend: It's the Second, Great Lord.
DO: Can't you evil lackeys do one thing right? I specifically asked for a Third Age wake up call.
Darkfriend: We wrote it down, Great Lord, but then we lost it a few thousand years ago, right after...
DO: Shut up. [picking up a copy of The Gehenna Gazette, turning to the sports page] Which universe is this, anyway?
Darkfriend: We don't really have a name for it, Great Lord. We just call it "the world".
DO: How very conceited of you to think so. It's not a particularly good world, is it? Looks like the work of that new guy who calls himself "the Creator"--very sloppy. You're not actually expecting me to conquer this dump, are you? Do you have any idea what the initial investment is for world-conquering? Of course you don't. Do you think my investors would be willing to put up that kind of money for such a run-down corner of the macrocosm as this? Surely you're dreaming. But...you humans do look a pathetic lot...not great thinkers, and quick to submit to any evil overlord who happens to pass through. Oh, why not? I'll give it a go.
[I decided to forgo the capitals in the DO dialog--too lazy for the Shift key ]