A summary of KoD: Prologue & Chapter 1
by Paetram
Galad: I must kill Valda. Rumor has it he assaulted and killed my mother. Could it be she is still alive? No, nine out of ten Morgase rumors turn out to be true. It's statistically indisputable.
Valda: Your mother smells of elderberries, and your father was a hamster.
Galad: Die!
Valda: [dies]
Galad: Now, that's done. Men, we must ally ourselves with the witches to drive out these invaders. Are you with me?
Followers: These witches are our enemies, but, as it is written, sometimes you must ally with the lizard against the mongoose. Or was it ally with the salamander against the hedgehog? No, that wasn't it...
Galad: We ride!
---
Suroth: I can't sleep. I must know if Tuon lives. I think she might be dead, but I can't be sure. I hope she's dead, but if she is, the Empress sure will be mad. She might only have seven of my fingers cut off. The Empress is merciful, might she live forever.
Liandrin: [entering] Have I not been useful, mistress?
Suroth: No; please report for your hourly beating.
Liandrin: Oh, thank you, mistress. [runs off excitedly]
Semirhage: I am made of fire. Cower in fear, mortal! The Empress is dead; want her job?
Suroth: [soils herself] I guess so...
Semirhage: Kill the Daughter of the Nine Moons. Let the Lord of Chaos rule. Raise the banner of the Five Tomatoes. Am I forgetting anything? Carry on.
---
Tsutama: Sashalle says Logain is no longer gentled.
Red Aes Sedai: [gasp!]
Tsutama: She also says he has joined with al'Thor.
Red Aes Sedai: [gasp!]
Tsutama: She also says sisters have sworn fealty to the boy.
Red Aes Sedai: [gasp!]
Tsutama: She then goes on to say that one of these Asha'man have "healed" several stilled sisters.
Red Aes Sedai: [all collapse to the floor]
Tsutama: I have decided we must bond these curious Asha'man. Who's with me?
---
Alviarin: Nobody loves me, and Mesaana wants to kill me. The Great Lord is protecting me, though. Aren't I the lucky one?
---
Galina: I will have my revenge. I must remove these oaths. What's this--I've been kidnapped!
Perrin: Who are you?
Galina: I am Aes Sedai. Now, take me back to my captors, I have the situation well in hand. [back at the Shaido camp] I'm only a little late, Therava.
Therava: Well, in that case I will only beat you 9,999 times.
---
Egwene: I am a dreamer. There is an impending Seanchan attack on the White Tower.
Silviana: That's nice, dear.
---
Readers: This prologue sure is running a little on the long side. When does the book begin? We want Moiraine!
---
Exiled Aes Sedai: Our Amyrlin is drowned! We're doomed!
Chesa: [sobs uncontrollably]
Siuan: I'm sleepy.
Dream Egwene: I'm not dead.
Siuan: [waking up] What's that smell? No matter. I must get to work reblackening Gareth Bloody Bryne's black boots--the multitudes of injured outside can wait. [to stableboy] Find me your mildest horse.
Stableboy: Take Nightlily, if it pleases you.
Siuan: It doesn't. Now, I'm off to tell the Salidar leaders about Egwene and Leanna.
Lelaine: It would be ... unfortunate ... if some "accident" befell our dear leader. Purely by accident, of course, and not by the deliberate act of someone working for me or any of my allies. If, for example, she was found in her room with her throat cut...
Siuan: I don't trust Lelaine for some reason, but why?