Narg's adventures through the portal stone
by Paetram
[The following is excerpted from Narg: A Memoir, found in the excavation of New Manetheren by archeologists in the Fifth Age.]
One day Narg was wandering through the forest looking for villagers for his cookpot. Intent on his designs, he suddenly stumbled over a strange round statue. Narg need rest. Narg sit on big rock for a little while...
Flicker.
Narg was surprised to find himself in the middle of a village green. Suddenly a villager shouted, "Trolloc!" Before Narg had time to flee, a dozen pitchforks impaled him at the same time. A cruel voice whispered in his head, I have won again, Narg.
Flicker.
Narg then found that he was in a very dark place. Narg can't see! Stumbling over something on the floor, Narg fell backward through a strange twisted doorway, whereupon several dozen foxlike beings viciously pounced on him... Again, the voice in his head whispered, I have won again, Narg.
Flicker.
Narg was sitting outside a large two-story inn. Next to Narg, a yellow tomcat eyed him menacingly. Nice kitty-cat, Narg crooned. Suddenly, the cat pounced on him! I have won again, Narg.
Flicker.
Where has Narg got to this time? Narg looked up just in time to see a giant rock sliding from a cliff above him. I have won again, Narg.
Flicker.
Narg looked around the interior of a farmhouse. A young man was holding a sword menacingly toward him. Narg have idea. Narg said, "Put sword down. No need sword." The young man put down the sword, but at the same instant a gateway opened, cutting poor Narg in half. I have won again, Narg.
Flicker.
Maybe Narg not die this time... Without warning, several hundred spikes came down from the ceiling...
[I tried to make this funnier, with less than satifying results, but the idea was just too good to pass up, I think.]