Moridin awakes in the Pit of Doom ...
by Shishka
... after having just been resurrected ...
GL: WELCOME BACK, MY DISCIPLE.
Moridin: Thank you, Great Lord. Let me just start off by saying, I'm glad you weren't just blowing smoke about being able to make your Chosen immortal.
GL: YOU WERE SKEPTICAL?
Moridin: Let's just say that it wasn't something I was eager to put to the test. After all, you are the Father of Lies.
GL: A WISE PRECAUTION. I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE THE SMARTEST OF THE BUNCH.
BY THE WAY, YOU CAN'T USE YOUR OLD NAME ANYMORE, YOU'LL HAVE TO CHOOSE A NEW ONE.
Moridin: Why?
GL: I DO THE RESURRECTING, I MAKE THE RULES.
Moridin: It just seems a little arbitrary to me, that's all.
GL: I DON'T CARE WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE TO YOU, IT'S THE RULE, AND YOU'RE FOLLOWING IT - SIMPLE AS THAT.
Moridin: *Sighs* Fine.
GL: SO, WHAT NAME WILL YOU USE, NOW?
Moridin: Hmm … I think "Muaghde T'mat"
GL: TOMATO MEAT??? ARE YOU CRAZY???
Moridin: Well, "Betrayer of Hope" was so … negative. If I have to change it, I want something a little more upbeat this time.
GL: I WILL NOT HAVE ANY OF MY CHOSEN CALLING HIMSELF "TOMATO MEAT"!!! I HAVE A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD.
Moridin: Picky, picky. All right, how about "Moridin", then. Is that sufficiently dark for you?
GL: "DEATH"? I SUPPOSE THAT WOULD WORK. IT'S A LITTLE BORING, THOUGH. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR CREATIVITY?
Moridin: Hey, you nixed my creative idea. Have you got a better one?
GL: HOW ABOUT SHAIDAR CABAN?
Moridin: "Horse of the Dark"? I don't think so. I'll stick with "Moridin", thanks.
GL: FINE, HAVE IT YOUR WAY THEN.
Moridin: So, how long have I been …?
GL: ABOUT 5 MONTHS, GIVE OR TAKE.
Moridin: 5 months?! What took you so long?
GL: LISTEN, INGRATE – I'VE BEEN VERY BUSY. AFTER YOU DIED, THINGS SORT OF WENT TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET PRETTY QUICKLY. RAHVIN BALEFIRED BY OUR NEMISIS THE DRAGON; LANFEAR CAPTURED BY THOSE BLABBERMOUTH 'FINN; ASMODEAN EXECUTED AS A TRAITOR; MOGHEDIEN CAPTURED … YOU GET THE PICTURE?
PLUS, I HAD TO RESURRECT AGINOR AND BALTHAMEL FIRST.
Moridin: You resurrected those idiots before me?! Why?
GL: THEY DIED FIRST – IT WAS ONLY FAIR.
Moridin: Since when have you been concerned about being fair?
GL: HMMM … GOOD POINT. ANYWAY, DON'T WORRY, YOU'RE STILL MY FAVORITE. IN FACT, I'M NAMING YOU NAE'BLIS, SO QUIT YOUR BITCHIN'.
Moridin: Cool, I get to be Nae'blis again!
GL: CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY, TOO. YOU KNOW WE NEED TO KEEP THE DRAGON ALIVE FOR AWHILE, TO CREATE THE NECESSARY CONDITIONS FOR MY RELEASE, YET YOU TRIED TO KILL HIM! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
Moridin: Sorry about that, Great Lord, but al'Thor was really starting to get on my nerves. I just sort of snapped, there. I promise, it won't happen again.
GL: SEE THAT IT DOESN'T, OR YOU'LL SPEND THE REST OF THIS LIFE PICKING UP SHADOWSPAWN WASTE IN THE BLIGHT WITH A BAMBOO POOPER-SCOOPER! ARE WE CLEAR?
Moridin: Crystal, Great Lord.
GL: INCIDENTALLY, WHILE YOU WERE DEAD, I CREATED A VESSEL THROUGH WHICH I CAN ACT IN THIS WORLD, UNTIL THE DAY OF RELEASE.
Moridin: A vessel? What kind of vessel?
GL: A SEVEN AND A HALF FOOT TALL MYRDDRAAL, ACTUALLY.
Moridin: Ahhh, so you can move around inconspicuously – how clever.
GL: LISTEN, SMART ASS, WHEN YOU'RE A PISSANT HUMAN, YOU CAN BE AS PUNY AS YOU WANT TO BE. WHEN YOU'RE A GOD, YOU HAVE TO BE A LITTLE MORE IMPRESSIVE.
Moridin: Whatever you say, Great Lord. So, does this Super-Fade have a name?
GL: YES, IT'S "SHAIDAR HARAN".
Moridin: Oh, sure, he gets to be "Hand of the Dark", and you wanted me to be "Horse of the Dark"?
GL: I STILL DON"T SEE WHAT'S WRONG WITH "HORSE OF THE DARK". YOU SHOULD BE HONORED TO BE RIDDEN TO VICTORY AT TARMON GAI'DON.
Moridin: Look … never mind, you'll never understand. Anything else I should know, before I head out into the world again?
GL: YOU'LL BE GETTING A COUPLE OF MINDTRAPS, JUST AS SOON AS I CAN GET LANFEAR AND MOGHEDIEN BACK HERE. OTHER THAN THAT, JUST GO OUT AND DO WHAT YOU DO BEST. I HAVE FAITH IN YOU, "MORIDIN".
Moridin: Thank you, Great Lord. I will not let you down. By the way, any chance I can use the OP to open a Gateway to my old palace? It's a long walk from here, you know.
GL: WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Moridin: All right, all right, I'm walkin' …