Repost: The Shienarian temperature scale
by Narg
Found this on my hard drive today. It's an ooold post I made here long ago. I meant to submit it to the humor section, but that mail adress seems out of order, so I'm posting it here instead.
15°C - This is as hot as it gets in Shienar, so this is where we start.
People in Illian stay indoors if possible and wears extra clothes outside. Shienarians are enjoying high summer.
10 °C - The taraboners are desperately trying to light a fire in their homes. Shienarians take of their shirts while practicing with their blades.
5 °C - Winter settles over Amadicia. People in Shienar are tending the gardens.
0 °C - Distilled water freezes. The water in the Mora River gets a little thicker.
-5 °C - The women in Altara locks the men to the beds so that they can warm them all the time. Shienarians put on their shirts.
-10 °C - The Cairhien nobles are scheming to steal firewood from their allies. Shienarians are enjoying the last parts of the summer.
-15 °C - Seanchan nobles employ damane to heat their kaf. Shienarians put on a coat.
-20 °C - The sheep in the two rivers try to sneak into the farmers house's to warm themselves. Shienarians are drying their laundry indoors.
-30 °C - The Shadowspawn are raiding the aiel waste in a desperate search for warmth. Shienarians are not bothering with a campfire.
-40 °C - The Tinkers are using the last of their wagons as firewood in a desperate attempt to heat themselves. The Shienarians are raiding the blight for sport.
-50 °C - The Taardad Aiel are building igloos outside Rhuidean. Shienarians start making campfires.
-60 °C - The people in Kandor, Arafel and Saldaea evacuates the Blight border and moves south. Shienarians spend the nights indoors if possible.
-70 °C - The Stone of Tear cracks from the cold. Shienarians begin to prepare for winter, since autumn is almost over.
-80 °C - The Whitecloaks are asking the Aes Sedai for heat and shelter, and the Red Ajah happily admits them. Shienarians are betting on which tree that will crack next.
-90 °C - The Ogier abandons their steddings and takes passage south with the Atha'an Miere. The Shienarian winter begins.
-100 °C - The people in the Two Rivers are welcoming the sheep into their beds - Shienar soldiers put an extra layer of padding under their armor.
-110 °C - Cairhienin nobles forsakes their scheming and are wiped from the face of the earth by the cold. The Shienarians thinks that last winter was worse.
-120 °C - The wolves are running south over the ice towards Tremalking. Shienarian patrols quicken their pace so that they can produce more heat.
-130 °C - The last Aes Sedai freezes to death. Shienarian children are playing indoors.
-140 °C - The shadowspawn are almost extinct. The Shienarians are making snowforts outside the blight border.
-183 °C - Microorganisms does not survive. The shienarian horses are complaining since their riders feels a little cold.
-273 °C - All atom-based movement stops. Shienarian says "It's bloody cold today" to eachother
-300 °C - The Pit of Doom freezes over. Lord Agelmar Jagad enters the womens quarters uninvited