Dysfunction, Wot style

by NaClH2O

I was NBing with someone the other day and they started laughing at something silly I did. So I got indignant and told her to stop laughing at me. She only laughed harder. I realized I was acting like Nynaeve in hating to look silly. So I have the "al'Meara syndrome". Got me to thinking, how many Wot dysfunctions are there anyway?

• al'Meara syndrome = fear of looking silly/being laughed at
• a'Roihan myopia = inability to see things as they really are, failure to face reality
• Trakand twitch = curious neck muscle response to insult where the head comes up so that you are looking down your nose at others.
• Aes Sedai disorder = delusional belief system that gives the sufferer the idea that they know everything there is to know about everything in the world
• Aybara Obsession = a curious separational anxiety disorder where the sufferer obsesses about the missing partner and moans continuously about their absence
• DO disorder = Inability to communicate without shouting. Sufferer can only talk at full volume, and has to write in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.
• al'Thor Delusion = A delusional disorder similar to Aes Sedai disorder above, where the sufferer believes he has to be obeyed in all things and flies into a rage if he isn't.

Well, there are some of mine. Youse guys have any you'd like to add?

NaCl(the psych guys would have a field day in WoT!)H2O

by Moiraine44

• DID - Damodred imbecile disorder - the inclination to scheme mercilessly and cut down trees
• PTSD - Post treekiller stress disorder - affecting Aiel after their encounters with blatant wetlander stupidity
• Depression - hits a person after reading about Elayne's tenth bath

by PowerHouse Elite

• Luc-Issam Behaviorial Dysfunction: The Condition of having Mulitple personalities, but where both of them are totally Sadistic, ego-maniacle, and love killin sh..stuff.

by sidious

• Demandred Dyslexia is the most severe counting pathology whereby the sufferer continuously believes that the number two precedes the number one. This leads to all manners of mayhem, especially while grocery shopping which can become expensive and yet irrelevant during which time the sufferer wonders why two trolleys of toilet paper and only a cup full of rice ensure for a difficult month ahead.
• Egwene Error Syndrome is the most severe form of paranoid schizophrenia. Contrary to all other forms of hallucinations, this one is the worst, because the bad guys really are out to get you, and they frequently succeed.
• The Carridin Regime is a cure for alcoholism banned in most countries. While undoubtedly effective, the mortality is unacceptable to most medical boards, and thus safer yet less effective procedures have been produced.
• Dragonemia is a condition where wounds to the body do not heal despite efficient treatment and patient medical care. Their ability to rupture under emotional stress make these wounds (and patients) insufferable to most doctors who generally can't tolerate their poor attitude to cellular repair.
• The Gholam Delusion affects people who think that they can melt into piles of goo and transport themselves under doors and through cracks in walls. These patients frequently suck the blood of fellow mental patients to 'nourish themselves'. They believe they have superhuman strength. Kaplan et al suggested... ah screw this... these guys are for the dustbin group. Lock them away and donate the key to charity.
• The Galina Gallop is a nasty generalized body itch which causes an almost insane desire to scratch the skin and cry out in pain. Most victims have spent at least one night in a tavern being comforted by lowly tavern maids, but very few will accept their fault despite the focal rash centred around their loins.
• Dashain Dangling is a term used for primary school boys who refuse to hit back despite repeated assault by the overweight school bully. These nancy boys accept their condition rather than defy it. While these pupils often grow up to be successful and clever, during the dangling phase they are notoriously bruised and lacking lunch money.

by Moiraine44

• Shaiel Syndrome: The condition in which one must save the world by running away, becoming pregnant, and kicking some wetlander @$$.

galore - 2/20/2007 4:39:48 PM

• Keille Condition - The gross obesity of the sufferers of this condition leads them into the unshakeable conviction that in reality they are the most beautiful and the most powerful woman in the world, and were people to see what they were really like, they too would believe. This condition is incurable.
• Egwene Episodes - An influential man in the patient's life once told them to stand against a wall and listen in to a conversation he was about to have. This powerful man explained that no matter that the patient was in full view - no-one would be able to see her! Since then the patient tries repeatedly to eavesdrop on other people, and fails to understand their reaction.
• Aybara Anomaly - a insidious delusion that creeps up over a long time. The afflicted person is paralysed by indecision when he has to choose between two objects. The sufferer can be seen picking up each in turn, unable to decide which to use. Oddly, this applies most frequently to blacksmiths.

Tigra Wildheart - 2/20/2007 5:40:36 PM

• *Randatotsis(RAL)- The sickness of gaining a big ego
• *Lanfear Syndrome(LS)- Breaking up issues. Includes: not getting over a certain person, fits of rage, 'if I can't have you no one can' speeches and a mild obsession
• *Moghedien Disorder(MD)- Symptoms include: hiding in the shadows and a mild obsession with revenge
• *Dice Delusion(DD)- Symptoms included: the Dark One's own luck, a hate for pink and nobles(especially pink nobles) and an obsession for chasing girls.

Comet Sedai - 2/20/2007 5:45:25 PM

• Moiraine-Kenobi syndrome: A tendency to say things that are only marginally true, if you tilt your head to one side while wearing a cloak.
• Nynaeve syndrome: Intense irritability when asked for proof of age. Ancillary benefits include the ability to star as a teenager n shows like "Beverly Hills, 90210" when you're 31.
• Morgase Malady: The tendency to fall for guys who want to kill you.

rAndy aL - 2/21/2007 3:41:31 AM

• Mandragoranaphobia: An irrational fear of marriage.
• Betrayer's Paralysis: A tendancy to blink at the worst possible moment, rendering the sufferer completely helpless for the short time in which they die.
• Kinslayer's Depression: We all know what this is. An obsession after a dead spouse.

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