Soldier: You know, it’s considered rude to leave in the middle of the night like that.
Siuan: What are you talking about?
Soldier: If you spend the night together, it’s nice to spend the whole night together.
Siuan: *sniff* For your information, Gareth didn’t come to bed last night.
Soldier: Then I shall inform Lord Bryne that he’s neglecting his girlfriend.
Siuan: I’m certainly not his girlfriend. Does he talk about me? I don’t stay with him because I love him, I stay despite that. Do you think he loves me back? I want him to, and I hope I never see him again! What makes you think I have any feelings for him?
Soldier: Just a general vibe. And the way you look at him as if you own him.
Siuan: I do not!
Men are confusing. Bring me your fastest, mildest horse.Soldier: (thinks) She must be an Aes Sedai…
A short ride later…
Siuan: What are you doing with Egwene’s stole, Lelaine?
Lelaine: Nothing much. I’m just discussing some things…
Siuan: Well, Egwene’s safe. She doesn’t want us Travelling in to rescue her in case Elaida finds out our new weaves.
Sheriam: Should we stop people travelling wherever they want, then?
Beonin: (poker faced) What’s the worst that could happen? No-one’s going back to Elaida now that the rebellion has finished. By the way, I need to make an extended trip…
Sheriam: Suit yourself. I found a nice tropical island to relax on. I too am going to make an extended trip…
Lelaine: Yes, all this waiting is tiring me out. But first, we must discuss a… …“rescue” attempt for the Mother…
Siuan: Actually, Egwene told me she already has that covered.
Meanwhile…
Gawyn: I just had the strangest dream. Egwene kept telling me to prove my love by rescuing her.
Tomil: I hate it when women do that! Did she tell you where she is?
Gawyn: No. I suppose I need to send someone back to Cairhien to see where she went. I wish I had Galad’s skill with women…
Rajar:
You did steal his girlfriend, you know.Gawyn: Good idea. She can’t complain if I’m more like Galad. Let’s just keep following Elaida because it’s right.
Younglings:
At the Gardens…
Aran’gar: Have you considered that everyone else is in alliances, while you and I are alone… Very alone…
Graendal: Not here!
Aran’gar: Relax! If anyone else is listening, they will assume I’m trying to get you into bed.
Graendal: Anyone else will?
Aran’gar:
Demandred: Eww…
Get a room you two!Aran’gar: Want some?
Demandred: No!
Semirhage: He only likes Lews Therin’s girls.
Demandred:
That’s not true!Semirhage: Ok… Who would you rather do it with? Lanfear, or Ilyena’s 3000 year old corpse?
Demandred: How crude… Who have you been hanging out with, to start coming up with these games?
Aran’gar: Just answer the question. You know how the game works. You answer, then you get to ask someone else a question.
Demandred: Mesaana, help me out here!
Mesaana: It’s Ilyena, isn’t it?
Demandred: I AM NOT PLAYING THIS GAME!
*Moridin appears*
Moridin: Settle down Demandred. There’s plenty of time for that after the meeting, which is starting now.
Graendal: What’s wrong with Lanfear anyway? She was with Lews Therin for 100 years or so, wasn’t she? That must be longer than Ilyena…
Demandred: Because He REJECTED her!!
Cyndane:
Moridin: Enough! Don’t send me servants into murderous rages! To start our meeting, let’s discuss what we have done over the last 6 months. Starting with… Demandred.
Demandred: Err… Why the extra chairs, boss?
Moridin (vaguely): I was expecting more people to come… It seems Sammael’s back…
Demandred: That’s impossible.
Moridin: Well, a couple of days ago, this guy walks into my apartments, and starts dressing up in my Nae’blis outfit. He orders around my servants, and sends a couple of Trollocs into the Ways…
Demandred:
That does sound like Sammael…Cyndane: Short bloke… Quite plain looking…
Moridin: The coat was too big for him. Not broad enough across the shoulders…
Cyndane: And his feet were at least 3 sizes too small for the shoes…
Demandred:
I don’t see how this is relevant…Moridin: And then he sat down and had a tea party with a teddy bear called Lews Therin Pansymon…
*silence*
.
.
.
Moridin: By the way, what did you do with Pansymon, Cyndane?
Cyndane: *bites head off a small stuffed bear*
Demandred:
I think I need to be alone for a little while…*leaves*
Semirhage: Should I get him back to discuss our plans?
Moridin: No point. I don’t really have any plans, but if you really want to help, you can kill Rand’s buddies for me. This is what they look like. Perrin and…
Semirhage:
Toy! You should have told us last meeting!Moridin: By the way, where did those games come from?
Semirhage: Toy…
Hope you liked it. Carrying on from CoT, the rebels still do nothing, Gawyn is still a douche and the Forsaken keep having those meetings to discuss what they didn't do in the last book! Coming next is... Perrin's deal, Faile and 6 chapters of Mat!