Galad: I heard a rumour you killed Morgase.
Eamon Valda: I hear rumours all the time. Last night I heard the Lord Commander of the Children killed a giant bat and turned it into a cloak.
Dain Bornhold: You started that rumour.
Galad: Stay out of it Dain. My mother, my fight.
Valda: She’s not your mother.
Galad: You have so got to die for that!
*kills Valda*
Trom: By our laws, you killed the Lord Commander, so you become the Lord Commander. We trace our leader back to the assassin of Artur Hawkwing.
Dain: But wasn’t that the Amyrlin, Bonwhin Sedai?
Trom: Who was stilled, but not executed. It took us a while to get to her, but it was mostly smooth Daes Daimar after that.
Galad: With all the stupid customs in these books, this almost seems normal!
Meanwhile, outside the village Serana in Tarabon…
Domani Soldier: Great! Another chapter of marching around in our armor! Nothing ever happens in these books.
Scout: Look! A battle!
Ituralde: Form up behind the Seanchan. Archers – aim for the commander and the damane.
*Seanchan army breaks*
Ituralde: Let’s get our stories straight. This was all part of my plan…
Just before dawn at Ebou Dar…
Liandrin: Am I not a good servant?
Suroth: I won’t even bother saying what’s wrong with that. You made a better damane, and you can’t channel! Go punish yourself.
Semirhage: Would you like to be Empress?
Suroth: That’s impossible. I’m number 200 or so in line for it.
Semirhage: That’s ok. I killed the entire royal family, except for Tuon who disappeared before I was ready. I’ll look for her, and you can lead whatever’s left of the Return.
Suroth: I accept then.
Semirhage: Good. Because I need someone to rule in my name, and take the fall for me when I fail to kill Tuon, and get captured by a farmer.
In the White Tower…
Talene: I’ve been ordered to attend a Black Ajah Supreme Council. All the leaders of the Black Ajah will be there.
Pevara: If we attack with all of us, and the sisters we control, we can finally take out the Black Ajah.
Saerin: I think we should all hide and forget hunting the Black Ajah. It’s too risky.
Pevara: We have the support of Elaida.
Seaine: No we don’t. I only told you all that to get you moving!
Pevara: You’re right! Let’s hide!
Alviarin, listening in: I don’t trust them for some reason…
In a camp outside Malden…
Perrin: Life is like a Blacksmith’s Puzzle. You spent 5 years trying to shift the piece in the middle, and hope that helps you get the rest of it apart.
Gaul: Life is like a Blacksmith’s Puzzle. If you feel like you’re wasting your time, you hit it with something until it works.
Perrin: Shut up! That’s my line!
Elyas: Life is like a Blacksmith’s Puzzle. If you feel like you’re wasting your time, you’re living wisely.
Berelain: Life is like a Blacksmith’s Puzzle. I need a big strong blacksmith to help me with it.
Neald: Life is like a Blacksmith’s Puzzle. If you feel like you’re wasting your time, you use the Power to help you solve it.
Annoura: Life is like a Blacksmith’s Puzzle. If you feel like you’re wasting your time, you probably are.
Galina: Life is like a Blacksmith’s Puzzle. If you feel like you’re wasting your time, you should give up and sell your soul to the Dark One. Um… I mean, I can get Faile out for you.
Perrin: That’s fine; just get her to the fortress in the middle of the city. That will help me somehow.
In the White Tower… Again…
Katerine Alruddin: Can you fix the harbour chain?
Egwene: No; it’s cuendillar.
Katerine: The Shadow wins again! Mwa ha… What are you all looking at? The Reds run this city!
Egwene: That’s a little disturbing…
Silviana: Elaida has decided you are a stupid little girl, so you will be a novice again.
Egwene: …fine. But first I have to tell you something. The Seanchan will attack the White Tower, and shake it to its very core. This I foretell.
Silviana: That’s nice. Leave it to someone with more experience to try to figure out what that means. You’re going to spend the next few months doing chores, being punished and passing out from our special herbs. Your foretellings are the imagination of a child; certainly no mere novice can predict the future. It’s absurd! A few Sisters will be along shortly to…
Egwene:
This is getting boring. Can you spank me now?Silviana: Why should I do that? Have you broken a rule already?
Egwene: Because I am the Amyrlin Seat, and I command you to!
*awkward silence*
.
.
.
Silviana: You play the Game well for a novice.
Egwene:
Did I miss something?A few hours later…
Egwene: Siuan. Let’s get our stories straight. This was all part of my plan…
Meanwhile, a well known author tries to finish the longest prologue he has ever written…
Harriet: Come to bed James! It’s 3:00 in the morning!
Robert Jordan: In a minute! There’s a few more scenes I have to write first…