Final battles through the Ages. Notice if you will how the Wheel turns…
10,000,000 BC
Dark One : Free! And only plankton and small organisms to stop me. I am free! This world is mine.
Nymeba :
Randcillus : !!!
Dark One : Hmm…
Nymeba :
Randcillus :
Dark One : What the hell? How is this area of the Pattern resealing? Wait! No!!
Nymeba :
Randcillus :
100,000 BC
Dark One : I’m afraid to look. Hmm… a monkey.
Randlopithicus : You.
Dark One : Yes. Me.
Randlopithicus : You.
Dark One : *sigh* I’m leaving. I can’t rule this pile of crap.
Randlopithicus : Wait.
Dark One : Huh… you know more than one word. Okay, you have one last chance. Yes?
Randlopithicus : You.
Dark One : Oh for #!!#! sake. *reseals himself*
10,000 BC
Dark One : Free! And now I shall crush you all!
Rand : Prepare to meet your match, Shaitan!
God : These ten curses I place upon Egypt!
Dark One : What!?
Moses : As I strike this water, may it part and may we traverse the seas unharmed!
Dark One : What’s going on?
Rand : It’s a biblical war.
Dark One : shit.
Rand : See you in a millennium?
Dark One : Deal. I hate locusts anyway.
Dark Ages
Dark One : Free! I am free again!
Sir Rand : You Norman scum.
Dark One : What?!
Sir Rand : You dare taint our sacred Saxon lands with your filthy fingers.
Dark One : Uh… yes, I do!
Sir Rand : You cur. To arms men!
Dark One : Finally, a battle!
Sir Matrim : Sire, the pagan witches from the forest come.
Sir Rand : The godless filth. Attack, and purge the lands of our pagan pestilence.
Dark One : Come back! I demand that you attack me!
…
Dark One : Please!
….
Dark One : Can anyone hear me!?
….
Dark One : When does it ever stop raining here?
…
Dark One : Aw…
Middle Ages
Dark One : At last my victory is sealed.
Rand : Prepare to be destroyed, Dark One. We merely await consent from the Church, and we shall break you.
Dark One : Good luck with that.
Alivia : My Lord High King Protector … the Church has sent this parchment. We may attack.
Rand : To arms!
Nynaeve : Move you lollies! Mount those horses!
Dark One : No wait! I delivered an enormous Papal bribe to sabotage your efforts. I demand justice!
Alivia : Here is a parchment for you too, Dark One.
Dark One : Huh? Thanks for the gold. SUCKER! Why you little…
Rand : Charge!
Dark One : I’ve been double crossed! Damn the doubly corrupt clergy!
Modern Age
Dark One : Free at last! Where are we?
Ishamael : A remote fishing village called Hiroshima my lord. I assure you…
10,000 AD
Dark One : Free at last! Hey where’s the world?
Ishamael : destroyed years ago by a galactic war, my master. But we have a bigger problem.
Dark One : What? Oh my.
Rand : Is my fleet READY?
Alivia : And now tremble Shai’tan as the combined fleet of the solar system descends on. One hundred thousand mega star cruisers each with planet destroying capabilities.
Rand : Nynaeve! Your line is up…
Nynaeve : Ay Admiral. *cough* … SHIELDS UP!! Attack pattern sigma. Focus all phaser beams onto these co-ordinates. Mass destroyer weapons yield plus ten. Fire! Fire!
Dark One : Mommy!
10,000,000 AD
Dark One : A more civilised age. Easier to destroy.
Incorporeal Nynaeve :
Incorporeal Rand : !!!
Dark One : Hmm…
Incorporeal Nynaeve :
Incorporeal Rand :
Dark One : What the hell? No not again! You can’t do this! You don’t even have bodies! You’re just spirits! Noooo!
Incorporeal Nynaeve :
Incorporeal Rand :