Newspaper clippings from the War of Power
by sidious
Below was a ter’angreal found after Tarmon Gai’don. It was damaged during the Breaking and contained newspaper cuttings from the 3rd Age. They are in sequential order, but their validity remains suspect.
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In today’s news, the Sharom exploded. University officials were quick to react to the cataclysm which claimed so many lives. Professor Walter Reid, the University spokesman addressed the media yesterday. “Accident? I see no accident. This was a deliberate experiment into the psychology of terror. Rest assured, it was a giant Illusion. Everything is fine.” University officials were unable to answer questions regarding the cessation of classes despite this harmless experiment, and of course they have yet to answer for the complete absence of all university staff since the incident…
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Beidomon, the chief scientist whose experiment destroyed the Sharom was found dead today in his Malibu beach house. Nailed to the wall and desecrated with spraypaint voicing ‘death to the blower-upper of our kewl skool’, police are suspecting suicide. In unrelated news, a gang of drunk Aes Sedai students were picked up in Malibu with a cache of stolen angreal…
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Nemene Damendar Boann was stripped of her powers as a Restorer today after being found guilty of nearly twenty seven hundred cases of torture and malice against patients. While being dragged away, the woman was heard to be screaming ‘I swear, they were screams of pleasure! Just you wait! Just you wait!’ In related news, her absence means that there is nobody who can Heal brain ailments in the northern hemisphere. Health officials have asked all people who suspect they have brain tumours to phone…
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Lews Therin was asked about the problem of escalating crime and violence among officials. “Do I wish I could use the Power against those scum? Sure I do! But we are Aes Sedai!” Asked about the cause of the crime, the Lord of the Morning blamed television and subtle moral decline. When asked whether the destruction of the Sharom might be related to societal decline, the Tamyrlin referred to the question as ‘utter nonsense obviously from a comic book.’ In unrelated news, huge areas of land are becoming barren and lifeless. A team of agricultural experts…
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Scandal erupted in the government today when it was discovered that nearly ninety percent of the senate had been bedded by a mystery woman who forced secrets out of them during the action of those evenings. The mystery woman, known as Streithique, seems to have an uncanny influence on members of parliament – even managing to seduce elderly and gay members of the cabinet. Aes Sedai investigators are probing suspicious residues found in these locations. Noted aesthetic, Kamarile Maradim Nindar has plead for a moral existence… “I must remind the citizens of this world (whom I love), that a chaste and pure life is the path to surest acclaim with the Creator….”
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The wedding of the Tamyrlin to his beautiful bride Ilyena, was marred by the disruption of the ceremony by the reckless and notoriously unbalanced Mierin Sedai. Dragged away by Hall officials, the woman’s rabid rants could be heard all the way down the road. In a statement from his honeymoon suite in Waywaii, the Tamyrlin deplored the interruption. “This was a special day for us. I care deeply for Mierin as a friend, but allow me to state my position for the last time… I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” In unrelated news, two high ranking Aes Sedai who were guests at Lews Therin wedding died mysteriously in their sleep. The catering is being investigated even though…
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Chaos ensued at the World Famine Congress today when leading philosopher Elan Morin Tedronai announced that the world was being dominated by a dark god and that everything needed to be destroyed. He is being observed at Susanna Sedai’s hospital for the Academically Broken.
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Chaos ensued at the World Poker Championships when noted philosopher Elan Morin escaped from Susanna Sedai’s hospital and announced again that the world was being dominated by a dark god and that everything needed to be destroyed. Dragged away, he was last seen shouting at the six males holding his shield. “Unhand me you oafs! It’s the truth I tell you! I swear there’s an ancient god influencing the world! You’ll see! You’ll all see!!!” Susanna’s spokeswomen Mary Claire stated, “Naturally we take the security of our patients very seriously but Elan…”
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Chaos ensued at the World Botanical Exhibition when escaped mental patient Elan Morin proclaimed that the world was being dominated by a dark god and that everything needed to be destroyed. Fortunately for him, evidence had summed up over the past eleven months to make his story credible. “I tell you it’s the … wait… you believe me? You believe me!!” The Tamyrlin immediately ordered him imprisoned on the charge of worshipping the devil.
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A town was destroyed today in the southern districts. Unknown livestock overrode the farming district and appeared to eat the populace. Surviving milk farmer, Bertie o’Carne reported “I swear I saw them huge cows, and they were like ten feet tall. I swear it, ya got to believe me!” Southern spokesman, Patricia Patricksen declared the reports to be mass delusion caused by a spike in the One Power. In unrelated news, four thousand inhabitants from the town of Sothby and sixteen thousand sheep from the town of Glames are missing. Police are baffled…
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In response to criticism, Lews Therin said that his generals were among the greatest in the world. In response to reports of mass desertion and treachery, the Dragon appeared to become openly angry. “That’s ridiculous! Look at these men beside me… Barid, Tel Janin, Duram, Arid Mosinel. The Light has never been stronger, damn you!” Tel Janin could not be reached for comment, nor his spokesmen, nor a single member of his legion which appears to have disappeared. In unrelated news, the town of Haven was ransacked and everyone was killed….
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Lews Therin accepted full responsibility for having a mole inside his cabinet. “Mole? Of course she was a mole! How the hell am I supposed to sniff out these damn people! Who else in here is a mole! You there… are you a mole?!” Many members of the Senate called for Lews Therin’s resignation after the debacle, but when it came to the vote, many members felt otherwise. Senator Jackson reported “I was going to vote against him I swear, but suddenly my hand refused to budge. It’s as if the whole Pattern was against me!”
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Lews Therin denied that the Light was on the verge of collapse. “It’s been ten years, unless you forgot. So the Shadow has over ninety percent of our land. So what? We can get it back….we can, I swear!” In unrelated news, the soldiers of the single remaining legion of the Light, all broke out in chickenpox yesterday. One man said…
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Latra Posae Decume denied that there was a rift between the male and female Aes Sedai based on a plan to save the world. “Absurd! What are your sources? We love our brethren. The absence of mixed links these days is a coincidence.” Latra Posae could not explain her divorce from her husband, nor the exile of her male children from her household last week. In unrelated news, marital Power duels and stillings have reached a record high…
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Latra Posae dismissed any foundations to the story that Lews Therin had gone mad and killed his whole family. “Ridiculous,” she said. “The family was killed in a hunting accident. A very large hunting accident, and no I will not divulge any more details.” Asked how she explained similar acts from the hundred Companions, she ascribed their aberrant behaviour to puberty. In unrelated news, satellites picked up a new mountain in the western provinces…
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Latra Posae dismissed the threat of the taint on saidin. “Taint… oh please. Get some spine. If your mother’s floor gets a spot of mud on it, do you become hysterical? Now as I said last week, we will deal with this benign problem after we have hunted down the last of the Shadowspawn.” In unrelated news, aging Aes Sedai Robert Greenfield walked into the middle of his town of Chestershire laughing and blew it up, as well as himself. Described as docile and friendly, no one could account for his mass atrocity which left…
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In response to the weather service’s dire warning that the whole world should ‘run for their lives’, Latra Posae said that the broadcast had been hysterical and factually inappropriate. Speaking from her cave in the south of Burogeois, she made her position very clear. “Oh please, we’ve all seen earthquakes in our lifetimes, and hurricanes and volcanic eruptions. Granted, not everywhere and at the same time, but you know… shit happens. Lews Therin used to say that, and you know what, he was right! Now listen to you me, you remaining people with televisions out there! Never give up! Never! I still say there’s no proof that male channelers are responsible for this. Embrace….”
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