Non-channelers who have changed the face of Battle
by sidious

 

Not many of us appreciate the value of non-channelers in battles. Watch in awe at how they changed the course of time, and battle…

Lanfear confronts Rand

Aiel Captain: Look my brethren. A woman in white is attacking the Dragon Reborn. He is on his knees crying, and all the Aes Sedai around him are dead or dying. We should attack. We have a chance.

Aiel : I think she’s a Forsaken. Maybe we should think about this.

Aiel Captain: Coward! Veil yourselves men! Yaaa!!!

*waves of fire wash over the Aiel*

Aiel : What should we do, sir?

Aiel Captain : Run on! Run on in flames! Yaaa!!

Aiel : I think I’m dying. And my skin is really black and charred.

Aiel Captain: You baby, the outcome of the battle depends on our intervention! Now charge, my remaining legion…! We’re almost within half a mile of her!

Aiel : Yaaa!!!! ….


Semirhage confronts Rand

Logain : I think Min saved us.

Rand : Yes Semirhage… enjoy your last few lucid minutes. The poison from that knife flows through your veins.

Min : It isn’t poisoned.

Logain : It isn’t? Okay, but you probably hit a vital artery didn’t you?

Min : Not really. Looks like her left deltoid muscle. It might not even bleed.

Rand : But wait… it was a dirty knife. Maybe she’ll die of tetanus?

Logain : Woot! Tetanus!

Min : Not really, I clean my knives every night with peroxide to keep them shiney.

Logain : Argh! Well at least it’s pinned in her arm, and that must be pretty painful. Ha Forsaken! Feel the pain of the Light! Pain Semirhage pain!!!

Rand : Mrr… it fell out of her shoulder.

Logain : *mutters*


Lanfear confronts Rand

Lan : I’ve waited decades for this. I shall now use my honed fighting styles and strike down the Forsaken Lanfear. She will feel the power of my steel. *charges*

Moiraine : Lan come back!

Lan : *flies back a hundred feet*

Moiraine : Not what I had in mind.

Lan : Moiraine… I…

Moiraine : Truly these are the feared warders from legend, the titans of battle.

Rahvin confronts Rand

Rand : Who are you?

Nobles : We are caught in the middle of this battle in the palace.

Rand : Go in peace. Do not be afraid, you shall not be harmed.

*balefire* *explosions* *half the palace is torn down*

Rand : Are you guys okay?

Nobles

Rand : Go in peace… argh… I’ll owe you in your next lifetimes.

Nobles :

The Warders contribute to the Cleansing

Lan : At last, my second chance to confront the Forsaken. I shall use my finally honed sword skills to strike them down!

Nethan : Yes, we shall cut them down like dogs.

Bassane : They will hold their bowels in their hands and beg for death.

Cadsuane : You three, go tend the horses until we’re done here.

Lan :

Nethan :

Bassane :


Osan’gar attacks Rand

Aiel Captain : You three… what are you doing?

Aiel : We are guarding the Car’acarns rooms, sir.

Aiel Captain : Well do a good job… the world depends on him.

Aiel : Trust me sir… a whole army couldn’t get through….

*explode*

Aiel :

Wieramon attacks Sammael

Adley : Weiramon, this isn’t working! Sammael is killing all our men!

Weiramon : Fools! These legions will be the ones who bring down Sammael. History will remember these men as the those who brought down a Forsaken.

Adley : They haven’t been within a hundred feet of the walls!

Weiramon : Then you don’t know my tactics.

Adley : Which are…?

Weiramon : I don’t even look at enemy defense. I send wave after wave of my men into the trap until the trap becomes saturated and the defender tires. It’s flawless.

Adley : Unless you’re one of the men.

Weiramon : They shall be remembered as heroes. These Andorans shall be lauded for millennia.

Adley : They’re from Mayene.


Guybon attacks Asne

*internal monolog while charging*

Guybon : So, you think you’re cool huh? You think you can just point that little black stick at people and kill them? Well point it this way, bitch. Go ahead… make my day. Well… that was certainly a quick response. Uh… *cough*… I have a wife and kids. Point it at Perkins there… no one will miss him. *exhales with relief* Luckily she’s dead.

Elayne : You saved me. How many died?

Guybon : Thousands your majesty. Maybe tens of thousands.

Elayne : But you killed the Aes Sedai..

Guybon : Well not really. We didn’t kill any of them. The Seafolk did that.

Elayne : Then what did you achieve?

Guybon : We looked all menacing, and provided a minor plot outlet to show that the balefire rod still works.

Elayne : Ah…


Rand confronts the Shaido

Lan : The fate of the world rests on your shoulders, Rand. You shouldn’t be wearing a sword. You should kill Couladin with the Power and get it over with.

Rand : I can’t Lan. I have honour and it would be like fighting a baby. I would never be able to show my face in public.

Egwene : Rand, the Shaido are attacking the main gates!

Rand : … weave lightning. Kill! Kill! Kill!!!!

Egwene : Rand stop! They’re dead, and there’s a fifty foot crater where they once stood.

Rand : *cough* As I was saying Lan…

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