Pranks for young male Aes Sedai
by sidious

 


Welcome to the December issue of FMC ... For Male Channelers. Some of you read our mag mainly as a hand me down from your older brothers who assume you'll be able to channel. That's cool... but this issue is mainly for those of you who can channel, and fall between the ages of 16 and 26. We know that those of you single centanarians out there are still considered to be young for Aes Sedai, but let's be honest... those of you who exceed a hundred years of age and don't live with your mothers have found these pranks boring for the last sixty years.

So let's get started with what you can do this December, to spice up your summer (or winter if you live in the twisted northern regions of Comelle).

1. Illusion

We usually start with this one because it's been good for millenia. There's so much that you can do with this. The passing pedestrian will suddenly find themselves wearing another body, or worse if you can be a little creative.

weave : Fire and Air like this 7^&%%$
fun factor : 8 - this can be good for hours

2. Get naked baby

This is for those of you who are tired of illusion. It requires a little more skill than Illusion, but it's advantage is that it isn't dangerous and is good even when you're intoxicated. The authorities don't look kindly on this one but if the law is a concern of yours, why are you reading this article? On to the weave... it zaps clothing to dust in an instant. It has lots of uses but most male Aes Sedai report that the most fun can be obtained from a distance while you're intoxicated. Merely aim the weave at passing people and watch their clothes become dust. There's nothing quite like a suddenly naked pedestrian. Targets are obviously beautiful women... but we've heard good reports against other targets (depending on your inclination). Damon Sedai reports that this weave is also a hit with seduced females who insist that you get naked and watch in awe as your clothes explode off your body. Jason Sedai reports this weave's usefulness in a group of drunk male friends...

weave : Fire and Earth like this %$#$##
fun factor : 9 - Fire and Earth... good for all men.

3. Friendly Fire

This one is a party favourite but it can be painful, and can escalate among the wrong groups. The idea is to beat each other with Air - either a slap in the face, a punch in the arm, a strike across the butt. When your friends are thoroughly exhausted you Heal each other and start again. Eventually you all become scared of one another and it becomes a psychological battle to be the last one to give up. Kevin sedai reports that it's fun to reveal that you have no Healing Talent after everyone has been beaten up. Coolio Sedai says this revelation has resulted in retribution in his case which caused problems.

weave : Air like this & ... followed with standard Healing.
fun factor : 5 - careful with this one. Air can be dangerous

4. Deathgate Apoplexy

This is a very dangerous prank good only for experienced pranksters. Target a passing pedestrian and deathgate them to a random destination. Really guys, don't play with this one if you're drunk or can't make a big gateway. Damon Sedai once again suggests targetting Aes Sedai so that they can Travel back - unlike non-channelers who could potentially find themselves in remote places. Seasoned pranksters suggest approaching from behind and aiming really well.

weave : Spirit with Earth and Fire like this &^%^^%%
fun factor : 9 if you get it right - it will make you a legend among your peers. 1 if it goes wrong. We warned you.

5. Blossom Bang

This one is marginally safer than the abovementioned prank. Stand no closer than three hundred yards away and let someone channel a blossom of fire. It's described as one of the best feelings in the world to be sent flying by the shockwave. Best experienced when intoxicated, there's no beating this. Watch out for stragglers who wander too close, and for our simple-minded readers out there - this is not to be done in your back yard or room.

weave : Fire and Air like this &^&&&
fun factor : 9 - a legendary prank

6. Air shriek

This is for novices but is as good as anything out there. Simply channel a thunderclap of Air above passing pedestrians and watch them shriek in terror. You need to run of course. Don't hang around. These people get angry afterwards.

weave : Air
fun factor : 7 - simple yet cool

7. Residue Toilet

This is for those male Aes Sedai you really hate. Make sure they're not home and get in there with five mates and as many angreal as you can afford. Start channeling random flows but get those residues thick. When it becomes stifling... leave. Most pranksters find that four guys channeling for an hour get the desired effect. Watch your enemy swear and curse for days as his house is covered in residues which are impossible to ignore. Damon Sedai writes that in his experience, Fire residues take longer to dissipate whereas Water residues are harder to ignore.

weave : anything you like... but do it big.
fun factor : 7 - fun. but it leaves you all wasted.

8. Ward Mayhem

This is another one for your enemies. It's remarkably easy and even better on more senior Aes Sedai. Weave a very complex warding of uselessness in front of their front door and leave. Watch their apprenhension as they approach this thing, wondering what such a diabolically complex warding can achieve. Watch young dumbasses run for their daddies, and watch daddies spend four days trying to unravel a useless pile of random flows.

weave : anything, but include all five flows and make it as complex as you can. If you can get a girl to link with you, go for it. It causes a lot of anxiety for the victim.
fun factor : 6 - a classic.

9. Cuendillar Killer

You've got to be really drunk for this one. Get or make a cuendillar object and take turns trying to destroy it. Hell, we all know it's brain dead, but trust us on this one - it's damn fun. The more drunk the better.

weave : whatever.
fun factor : 8 ...

10. Air flying

As brainless as the abovementioned prank, make sure you're very drunk. Take turns trying to fly with the Power. You're not trying hard enough until someone tries to fly with Fire. You'll be surprised how angry some of your friends will get when they stay rooted to the ground.

weave : Air... initially.
fun factor : 7

Well those are the pranks for this year. Write in and tell us what new ones you've discovered. But guys, leave the weather alone. After M'Jinn '91, I don't think anyone envies Bob Sedai and his New Years Maelstrom.

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