During the Breaking, a Stasis Box is filled with a toaster, a teabag, handcuffs, an IPoD, a hairdryer and a shot-gun.
Sammael tracks this Stasis Box to the White Tower, but unfortunately many Aes Sedai opened the box a few years ago. He’s trying to recover the artifacts for himself, but it is proving no easy task. He’s disguised as a new Aes Sedai being taken for a tour of the Tower.
Sammael : Ah, here is something.
Moiraine : Yes, this odd contraption. It requires a weave of Fire and Air into the three-pronged area, and it forms pure heat from the metallic areas.
Sammael : Sheesh. Have you tried putting bread into it? You know, to make toast?
Verin : Don’t be absurd. This is a highly complex ter’angreal which could destroy a Sister at an instant’s touch. We have attempted aiming it at oncoming Shadowspawn armies but it has so far proved unsuccessful.
Sammael : What a surprise.
Verin : You speak with very little respect, Sister. Just a decade ago, a Sister tried to add this ter’angreal to her bath to heat her water with the power-wrought fires contained inside. The box destroyed her.
Sammael : Wow, you guys are the pinnacle of third age education?
Moiraine : Yes, and why are you smiling?
Sammael : No reason, Moiraine Sedai. Did you find any other artifacts in the mysterious box *cough*
Moiraine : Yes, we shall take you to the hall which we have put aside for the next artifact.
Verin : We have put it in its own secure room. We don’t know what to make of it.
Sammael : Oh my. A teabag which gets its own hall.
Moiraine : What did you call it?
Sammael : Nothing, Aes Sedai – something I once heard. So, what do you make of it?
Verin : Well, the porous material contains several strange materials. We have channeled all the flows into it, and around it, and there has been no response. It just sits there. Ter’angreal like that always burn out Sisters, so it has been forbidden for research.
Moiraine : I sense that the restriction of this artifact will deprive us of essential scientific breakthroughs in the realms of the Power.
Sammael : Your predictions are reliable as usual, Moiraine Sedai.
Verin : Now, moving along, we found this strange ter’angreal. It is indestructible. When we reach the shawl we attach this ter’angreal to ourselves.
Sammael : Handcuffs. Wait… you bind yourselves like criminals?
Moiraine : What?
Sammael : Nevermind.
Verin : Look, they are around my ankles. Walking is very difficult, but this ter’angreal distinguishes us from average citizens and makes us respected throughout the land.
Sammael : Oh I’ll bet. This custom completely fits in with the logic of the current Age thus far.
Moiraine : We don’t live very long. We usually can’t run fast and our enemies catch us and slay us. Others of us fall off cliffs, and others yet drown in the bath.
Sammael : And you find this surprising with those things around your ankles?
Verin : Sister, these bindings are what make us Aes Sedai. They make us acceptable to the local populace, and are a definitive message to the Shadow.
Sammael : Oh I’m sure they got the message. Next…!
Moiraine : Temper, temper! Well this is a very odd machine. If you channel Air and Spirit here, it recalls ancient chants and customs.
Sammael : Ah, an IPod. I remember this track so well.
Verin : Hmm… well, it’s clear that this is a ter’angreal created by the Shadow. From the resources I’ve read of that Age, they had the ability to store souls....
Sammael : Your resources are crap.
Moiraine : Show some respect, Sister. Verin Sedai is a seasoned Brown Sister.
Sammael : My apologies. Continue.
Verin : It seems that they those who refused to turn to the Shadow were imprisoned in this ter’angreal, their souls ripped from their bodies and forever enslaved.
Moiraine : The Light bless their souls.
Verin : I found strange hysterical chants such as Who wants to live forever, It’s raining men, hallelujah and I need a hero. Clearly those are grotesque cries from the War of Power – pleas from the victims to be saved from their prisons.
Sammael : A grotesque collection of … screams… indeed.
Verin : Yes, I have tried to rescue the souls using complex wardings, but it kept screaming an Ancient chant – ‘low power’. It then sealed the souls off permanently, and I couldn’t rouse them again. The message clearly implies that only the powerful Aes Sedai of old could unravel the prison, and alas, I fear I have condemned the souls inside to an eternity of imprisonment.
Sammael : I wouldn’t worry about them, Verin.
Verin : You are too kind, Sister. There are only two more pieces. This one is particularly interesting. It generates hurricanes – or at least we think it does.
Moiraine : Yes, we can’t make it strong enough, because we are probably too weak, and even a circle of thirteen didn’t get it’s strength up.
Verin : I shudder at the strength of the original Aes Sedai from the Age of Legends.
Moiraine : Indeed. At the moment, we can blow papers off a table with this weapon. Sadly, it will never sweep away whole armies of enemies like it did in the War of Power – unless we make a breakthrough that is.
Sammael : Wow, this really takes the cake. Have you women ever tried to use it to dry wet hair which has just been washed?
Moiraine : Of course not, don’t be absurd.
Verin : New Sisters can be so foolish. Luckily we are here to guide you, young one.
Sammael : Your intelligence surprises me with each passing moment, Aes Sedai. I look forward to the Forsaken meeting you on the battlefield with this weapon of mass destruction in the Amyrlin’s possession.
Moiraine : Indeed, the look on their faces will be priceless.
Sammael : Oh I agree. A pity a camera didn’t survive the Breaking.
Verin : Lastly, is this devastating weapon. Jenda Sedai investigated it a century ago, but it killed her.
Sammael : Ah, a shot-gun. I’m not surprised.
Moiraine : It is the most lethal ter’angreal we’ve ever encountered. She managed to trigger it only once, but we think we know what it was intended for.
Sammael : Surprise me.
Verin : It is a …. Travelling ter’angreal.
Sammael : Figures.
Verin : Jenda said she intended to focus down the long barrel of the ter’angreal and activate it and Travel. When she was discovered her head was gone.
Sammael : And the hits just keep on coming.
Moiraine : Clearly the ter’angreal managed to Travel her head to some location, but it ran out of power and it couldn’t complete the journey.
Sammael : sigh. Thanks for the tour, Sisters. I need to go to the toilet. Would you excuse me quickly.
Moiraine : You are excused.
Sammael leaves and Travels.
Graendal : Did you find anything?
Sammael : Mwah-ha-ha!!!! Mwah-ha!!!! Ha ha ha!!! Haaaaa!!! I can’t breathe…! Mwah ha ha!! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha!!! *giggle* Mwah haaa!!
*thirty minutes later*
Lanfear : This is getting irritating Sammael. Did you evaluate the Aes Sedai threat or not. Tell us or I’m leaving.
Sammael : Okay… *sigh* …. Well, it’s like this…. Mwah ha ha!! Ha ha ha!!! Haa haa!! Haa ha ha!!
Semirhage :
