The vast array of torture
by sidious
Methods of torture in Randland…
1. Whitecloaks
Questioner : Are you a darkfriend?
Farmer : No sir. I walk in the Light!
Questioner : Captain. Take this shadowspawn away! He makes me sick to my stomach.
Farmer : NO! But how do I answer that I’m not a darkfriend then?
Questioner : Fool, we already know the answer long before you reply. Your reply makes little difference to our judgment.
Farmer : Wait… I’m a darkfriend. I worship Ishamael himself! I bathe in the blood of babes! I’m devoted the Great Lord of the Dark!
Questioner : Captain, release this man. His lies make me sick to my stomach.
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2. Semirhage
Semirhage : Well now Cabriana. It’s been two hundred and twenty six hours and still you defy me. Do you have an answer?
Cabriana : *shrieks* Yes! Stop the pain please!
Semirhage : Very well.. The answer…?
Cabriana : The answer is Mayene. There, and are you happy now?!
Semirhage : Hmm… what was the original question?
Cabriana : What?!
Semirhage : What did I ask you a few days ago?
Cabriana : I can’t remember!
Semirhage : Well neither can I.
Cabriana : Oh you’ve got to be kidding me!
Semirhage : You stay here. I need to go figure out what question I asked in the first place to elicit that answer.
Cabriana : No!!!! *endless cries echo through the passages*
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3. Woman’s circle
WC : You know why you are here.
John : I do. I am accused to throwing an apple at Granny Smith’s head.
WC : Indeed. We know you had accomplices. Who are they?
John : I’ll never tell you, you hags! Never! I’ll take my secret to the grave.
WC : Women…. Use your powers…. *strong glares which all focus on the man*
John : Matthew, Jacob, Peter, Ricky. I can take you to where they live. I am not worthy. I am a worm beneath your feet.
WC : Heh…
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Aiel Wise Ones
WO : You wetlander trash. You dare traverse the sacred ground of rhuidean!
Peddlar : We got lost! We’ll turn around, we swear!
WO : Too late for that. You must be purified with pain. Jezrail… bind them naked in the sun and allow red ants to devour their flesh. Also add that burny powder to make their wounds itch.
Peddlar : Damn, what is wrong with you people!?
WO : My father said I had a lot of rage for a girl.
WO2 : Hey mine too.
WO3 : Mine too.
WO4 : Mine too.
*later*
WO500 : Yeah, mine too.
WO : Damn our fathers for denying us barbies for Christmas. Jezrail, destroy this man!!!
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Seanchan
High Lady : You there, are you a traitor?
Peasant : No High Lady. I keep my Oaths.
High Lady : Look into my eyes when you reply to me. I despise your treacherous peasant ways!
Peasant : *looks* No, High…
High Lady : You dare gaze upon me you disgusting slime?! Take this man away. To the Tower of Ravens you shall go!
Peasant : Noooo!
So’Jhin : In all the world, there is no parallel for Seanchan justice, High Lady.
High Lady : It’s what makes us great, Coumin.
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Land of Madmen
Sailors : We come in peace and bring gifts of gold.
Mad woman : My face looks like mould?! Yeaaaahh!
Mad man : You dare accuse me of being a teapot! Yeaaah!
Sailors : Uh… help!
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Aes Sedai
Elaida : You are accused of being a darkfriend. Are you *cough* Black Ajah, Melaine?
Melaine : Uh… no.
Elaida : That’s good enough for me.
Verin : Me too. Aes Sedai can’t lie.
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Ash’aman
Ash’aman : Tell me who sent you, you disgusting swine!
Servant : Sir, the prisoner is dead.
Ash’aman : How dare you interrupt me? By what sacred knowledge do you dare put forward that claim?
Servant : By virtue that you are talking to a finger, and that the rest of the prisoner is dispersed over most of the training ground.
Ash’aman : Damn this assassin’s weak heart!
Servant : Sir, if I may suggest…
Ash’aman : Are you looking at me funny?
Servant : *gulp*
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