Why the Shadow will be useless at Tarmon Gai'don
by sidious

 

Why it just doesn’t pay to be in the Shadow at Tarmon Gai’don …

Demandred addresses the Trolloc Legion

Demandred : Men… things… we stand here on the point of the great battle of the Age. I control all one hundred million of you, and together we shall ruin this land to the Aryth Ocean.

Trollocs : ….

Demandred : I feel a lot like Macbeth from the Ancient Writer Shakespeare’s novel, Macbeth. He was great, he was powerful – but only one man stood before his greatness. In time the world will appreciate how he was wronged, and how he deserved the throne.

Trollocs : …

Demandred : Have any of you even read Macbeth?

Trollocs : …

Demandred : My intellectual superiority is wasted on your imbecilic moronic minds.

Trollocs : Woot! We are morons!

Demandred : *sigh* Go… kill everything… eat the people…. Pillage and destroy.

Trollocs : Yeah!!!! Rawr!!!



Sammael faces Mat

Sammael : Witness the power of my legion of super-fades.

Mat : Witness the power of my topless Seafolk female barbarian horde.

Sammael : disaprove


Shadar Haran confronts Rand

SH : And now you are shielded. The Source is gone, and I will now crush your pithy neck.

Rand : Uh … help me Pattern.

SH : Mwah-ha-ha!!! You are all alone… You are… Ooo… a feather from out of nowhere … hmm…*chokes*

Rand : Uh… are you choking?

SH : oh …… perplexed …. dead

Rand : Cool. Go Light!


Cyndane and Moghedien confront Nynaeve

Cyndane : And now I will destroy you.

Moghedien : No way, she is mine. I owe her severely.

Cyndane : Back off, or face my wrath.

Moghedien : Make me.

Cyndane : I will make you.

Moghedien : I don’t see you making me.

Nynaeve : Uh…

Cyndane : Die Moghedien!!! I’ve always hated you.

Moghedien : Can I use that angreal quickly Nynaeve?

Nynaeve : I guess.

Moghedien : Die you pale little milksop!

Cyndane : dead

Moghedien : dead

Logain : You defeated two Forsaken at once. And it looks like the one even has an angreal. Damn…

Nynaeve : Thanks, I guess… uh… Go Light!!!



Graendal confronts Cadsuane

Graendal : Give up. You’re weaker than me, and I have an angreal.

Cadsuane : Nevaaah!

Graendal : Die!!! *channels*

Cadsuane : Woah.

Graendal : Uh… what just happened?

Cadsuane : It appears I found the function of my last star shaped ter’angreal. It apparently doesn’t like attacks by the Shadow.

Graendal : I’ve been turned into a sheep. May I be excused?

Cadsuane : You may go.


Aran’gar meets Myrelle

Aran’gar : And now I shall destroy you, you stupid little Green oaf.

Myrelle : *heaves bosom*

Aran’gar : ohangry … *heaves bosom*

Myrelle : *heaves again … strenuously*

Aran’gar : *heaves bosom to her max but falls short* … Damn this silk dress to hell!

Myrelle : It appears I’m the better woman.

Aran’gar : I … I … disaprove … wait… I have nice legs … *shows legs*

Myrelle : Yeah? Look at these … *shows*

Aran’gar : wow… I … I … dead

Moridin unleashes his dreadlord army

Moridin : Release the dreadlords!!

Alviarin : Yaaa! For the Great Lord.

Moridin : Stop… where are the other two hundred males and females?

Alviarin : The males mocked the Aes Sedai so they destroyed them. The women killed one another trying to reach Forsaken status, and I survived. I’m the best of the best Great Master. Are you not pleased...?

Moridin : smirkangry

Alviarin : Help.

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